Happily Ever After

   

Like the fairy tale, happily ever after can be real in marriages if only spouses work towards it. It takes works to achieve this fantasy term called happily ever after. I see many people fantasize of marriage and when they get in they turn blue, I have also seen people rush into marriages with their eyes closed and after a few years their eyes are forced open with the ugly reality of who their spouses are, I have also seen couples go into marriage with all sorts of intentions and wishful thinking.

Thankfully for those of us in the African part of the world, the term divorce doesn’t easily cut across unlike developed countries around us.

The state of many marriages in our world calls for a rethink and I say to myself where is the happily ever after?Truth must be told, a happy marriage is a possibility if some of the points I am about to talk about is worked at:

                                         

·         Choose to forgive and keep forgiving: Forgiving is a continuous process in marriage if you want to live happily, if you do not let go of previous wrongs you are in for depression because mind you, more wrongs would be done and they would hurt you further. My advice is, if you are not married yet please don’t bother doing so until you are willing to let go of wrongs done to you. Forgiveness is a choice that would bring you freedom.

·         Believe you are the lucky one: Most times I hear one spouse saying he or she is better off than their partner. They fool themselves saying they deserve better than ever have that mentality instead affirm to your spouse that his or her presence in your life is a gift from God which you probably don’t deserve.

·         Be each other’s biggest fan: Encourage one another, respect and support each other’s dreams and be there through thick and thin.

·         Adjust your expectations: Your spouse can never be perfect, the only place you can find perfection is in God. Do not expect him to be like your pastor or like a friends spouse or like some mentor you have grown to love.

·         Decide to be on the same team: So many issues would pop up to divide husband and wife, it could be friendship, work, schedules, family just to mention a few, but in the end the promise you made before God with your spouse trumps them all.

·         Put yourselves in each other’s shoes: Empathy is important. The fact that something isn’t important to you doesn’t mean it’s not to him.

·         Seek God and you would find happiness: It is that simple.

·         Yield to each other: If your spouse is more convinced about a issue let him or her make the decision. Even if it turns out to be wrong, don’t rub it on his face. It is better to be happy than to be always right.

·         Guard your heart: Don’t be quick to jump to conclusion and judge when you hear something negative about your spouse. Always give them a benefit of doubt.

Quote of the day: So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday ― Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook